The Hind’s Head @ Bray, UK ****

Oxtail and Kidney Pudding

The capacity for single-minded obsession is something that has always been a potentially unhealthy character trait of mine.  I am the sort of person who offhandedly tries Tropical Wholefoods Chewy Banana Chips, falls madly, violently in love, buys a 2 kilo bag online, and eats them breakfast, lunch, and dinner to the exclusion of all other foods until I’ve literally made myself ill.

Similarly, when I see a list like Trifter’s “Top Ten Places to See Before You Die,” I feel deeply anxious that I’ve thus far seen only two of the recommended sights (Stonehenge and Iceland), and highly incentivized to make plans to check off the rest of the list. However, despite my urges, it is precisely this “checklist,” trophy-hunting” mentality that I so deplore about the culture of restaurant and city guides.  Often the best way to experience a new city is to go on a food crawl- actually stroll through the streets to discover the highlights of local cuisine; when one is ruled by Lonely Planet’s ”Food and Dining” section, the delights of spontaneous discovery are few and far between.

Yet, when something like the Guardian’s ”50 Best Things to Eat in the World“ explodes out of my inbox, I must admit that no matter how much I complain, it’s hard to resist a good list. Given an upcoming trip to the UK and a recent encounter with an autograph pen, a cookbook, and Heston Blumenthal, I zeroed in on #44, steak and kidney pie at  The Hind’s Head pub in Bray. With great anticipation, I reserved my Zipcar, primed Google Maps for Blackberry, and kept calling until the staff took pity on this adventure gastronomer and gave up a table on the early side. Leaving the parallel parking to my companion, I entered ready to embrace ecstasy and was far from disappointed.

Devils on Horseback (roasted, bacon-wrapped prunes), Scotch Quail Eggs (hard-boiled eggs wrapped in sausage and deep fried in bread crumbs) , and Warwickshire Wizzers (sausages made of pork, chilli, mustard seeds and paprika), here was British pub food refined to the highest degree imaginable- everything rich, flavorful, and served expertly in portions slightly too small to be considered appetizers, just right for labelling as ”snack.” Then there were the Triple Cooked Chips (steamed, chilled, shallow fried, re-chilled, and finally deep-fried), magnificently crispy outside, impossibly fluffy inside.

And finally, there was the pie. As the still-quivering mound was set before me and the gravy poured, I took a bracing swig of water. Cautiously, I drew the knife along the moist membrane of pastry, yielding a seductive glimpse of the cavernous depths below. More boldly, I cut decisively down, eviscerating this defenseless prey until I reached plate. Steaming and oozing, the pie revealed her treasures; kidney, and marvelously, instead of traditional beef, rich, slow-cooked oxtail. With barely contained lust I plunged my fork into what bore remarkable resemblance to live entrails. Bringing the laden utensil swiftly between my lips, I closed my eyes in concentration and thought, ”Oh!” The pastry was pliant, with just the right amount of chewiness, oxtail (my favorite cut of meat) was perfect in combination with kidney, and still, the deep, primal flavor of the dish was somewhat lost on me. Indeed, I am quite disappointed and rather ashamed to have realized: I’m just not that into offal.

Details: High St, Bray, UK SL6 2AB (+441628626151)